in him is the fullness of all things

2013 has been a beautiful year. It's funny, beauty isn't always borne from easy or fun or quick. Sometimes, beauty is borne of pain, waiting, patience. Sometimes. But the thing is, when you get to the beautiful part (and sometimes it takes a while), you see that the parts leading up to it were necessary and worth while. As I look back over this year at the person I was at it's start, I find myself thankful for everything that God allowed me to walk though because I am not the same, nor would I ever want to be.  In this past year I have experienced heartache, through which I've learned that no man will ever be able to complete me like the man Christ Jesus can. I have learned that living life as a people pleaser is no way to live life at all.  I have had the opportunity to travel to and through many new states including Michigan, Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, New Jersey, and Delaware. I have seen old and new friendships flourish in this year. I pr

*via*   *via*   *via*   *via* *via* Fun fact: I love babies. Like, a lot. I grew up literally having like, 15 baby dolls. All my friends know that I want to have like, a zillion kids (that may be a mild over-exaggeration, but WHATEVER). Growing up, I would try to seize every opportunity that I could to be around little babies and since I have been in school, I feel like I have been a little baby-deprived (among other forms of deprivation). AND with my 23rd birthday looming over my head, I just feel like I have the worst case of BABY FEVER EVER. I'm talking my LOINS start to ache (is that even a real thing? Believe me, it feels real) at the mere sight of a baby. Here is a cute baby story. This past weekend, I got to hold the sweetest little baby who happened to be born on my half birthday so naturally we felt a strong connection. I bounced her up and down and sang songs to her and then finally (*reluctantly) got up to pass her to her mommy. Befo

this is how I look when I feel rejected. Anybody who is anybody has experienced this feeling in some way shape or form. In fact, you can probably remember the first time that you felt the sting of rejection. My first memory was in elementary school. My best friend at the time had started cheating on our friendship with other cooler friends. I specifically remember one day when all of them were playing "Sailor Moon". Thats right, that dreadful japanese anime TV show that for some reason girls were nuts about. Anyways, I distinctly remember one particular school day during lunch break, trying to join in on this Sailor Moon madness and being encouraged by my friend to go elsewhere and play with other people since I hadn't actually watched Sailor Moon...doesn't that just suck? That really hurt my feelings. Ever encounter rejection from people of the opposite sex? Haha...why is it that that seems to the most painful kind? Without airing ALL of my dirty laund

So I know that it has been eons since I last wrote, but today I am choosing to put off studying by blogging instead. Some would say that's an even tradeoff, right? Actually, probably not a lot of people would say that. My professors certainly wouldn't. WHATEVER. Anyways, lately I have spent a lot of time reflecting on society and how as a whole, we try to stick to the status quo, go with the flow, etc...and I think that's fine. But I also feel like somewhere along the way we've become way too concerned with what other people think! Right? I have often found this playing out in my life when it comes to decision making. Like, I'll make decisions based on what I think will make other people happy. Now, I'm not saying that that is always bad...because God does call us to honor one another above ourselves {Romans 12.10} but I do believe that God has wired each of us in amazingly beautiful and different ways and to try to mirror the way other people behave would be

"  Believers will be given the power to perform miracles: they will drive out demons in my name; they will speak in strange tongues;   if they pick up snakes or drink any poison, they will not be harmed; they will place their hands on sick people, and these will get well.” Mark 16:17-18 This was the reality that the disciples walked in once they received the Holy Spirit. Actually, it wasn't just the disciples...the book of Acts records numerous believers who, by the power of the Holy Spirit, laid hands on and healed people. I used to think that this was something that was reserved for the "super spiritual" people but that couldn't be further from the truth! Every believer of Jesus Christ has access to the same power that raised Christ from the dead. We ALL have the ability to hear from God. He is all about advancing his Kingdom and pushing against the darkness with his light and he wants to partner with us! It's amazing. Tonight, a group of us fro

Oh Love That Will Not Let Me Go -Ascend the Hill

...in the Father's hands we know that a lifetime's not too long to live as friends. (If you're truly a child of the K-LOVE 90's era, you should have immediately recognized the fact that this is a Michael W. Smith HIT simply by reading the title. But just in case you're not, you can see what you were missing out on and listen to the cheesy touching song HERE ) It has been an amazing couple of months here in the lovely PNW, but alas, the time has come for me to leave. I will miss everyone dearly but I also know that He who called me to Chicago, has good things for me there and I am excited to experience everything that he has for me. Here are some pics so you can get a little taste of my Oregon summer. beach day with these lovelies my best friend graduated from college! introducing mrs. sara brubaker! baby Esther was all about Bethany's sunnies. Two of the most amazing women I know. I love me some hard pear cider!

Sometimes, I really crack myself up with how terribly inconsistent of a blogger I am. Don't you find it funny how it's when you have the busiest schedule that you find time to do the most insignificant stuff? And when you have a ton of free time you don't do as much? My point isn't that blogging is insignificant. Or that I have a ton of free time. It's just that I want to apologize to the 3 people in cyberspace that have been on the edge of their seats for over a month waiting for me to update this thing. Your patience has been rewarded. What have I been up to these last couple of months? Working full time at the hospital. Boo for 40 hour weeks. Yay for paychecks after several 40 hour weeks! Studying! I am such a little nerd. Who studies during the summer? Someone who doesn't exactly work in a pharmacy and doesn't want to forget all the drugs that I worked so hard to learn this past year! Learning to honor God with my finances! A wise/dead man o

God's ways are so marvelous and mysterious...try as we might, we just cannot figure him out. I know that I go through (embarrassingly many) seasons where I feel like I've figured him out and then God totally shatters whatever limitations that I placed on him. I love it when he does that.  So often I find myself believing the lie that God can only speak to me when I have been "really spiritual", whatever that even means. Well I was not feeling super spiritual when I returned from Chicago. I was so wrapped up in seeing my friends and family that I allowed it to pull my attention away from the Father. I found myself in this really weird place where, even though I was surrounded by earthly fellowship with his body, I was not fellowshipping with him directly. Does that make sense? Each day that passed without me praying or spending time in the word really took it's toll on me. I was asking God to zap me with some spiritual motivation and was frustrated when that w

Sometimes, making one friend makes all the difference. This girl is one of the first girls that I connected with at my church in Chicago. I don't know if you can ever fully understand the importance of reaching out to new people at church until you yourself are a new person at church. Michelle and I connected initially because we were both fellow suburbanites who commuted to church every week. Not only did she express interest in hanging out with me, but she followed through! After she got my number, she called me within a week and invited me over and so it started! From the beginning of our friendship, I have been exceedingly blessed by Michelle's heart for Jesus. She loves to talk about what he is showing her, what he is doing in her life, and she truly has a desire to grow in deeper knowledge of him.  God used this girl powerfully in my life during my first year of school. It was terribly difficult being so far away from so many friend and family back home,

Hello! I know it has been a while since I've updated this blog. Sometimes life just gets in the way, ya know? In the last couple of weeks I've: Completed my first year of pharmacy school Moved off of campus Moved (temporarily) back home for the summer Changed my hair Become employed Got back in touch with my country dancing roots Got a list of books to read for the summer Upgraded from the Crackberry to something Steve Jobs would approve of Seen Josh Garrels perform in Portland Finally experienced some sunshine Long story short, it's been a wonderful, relaxing time back in the Willamette Valley. But strangely, it doesn't quite feel complete. As much as I love Oregon and all that it has to offer, I find myself longing to share it with the people that I've had the immense pleasure of doing life with in Chicago these past several months. When ever I gaze at the horizon interrupted by mountains and trees, I find myself wishing that my Chicago friends w

My sister and friend, Bethany Canfield . Have you ever seen someone and thought "that person is really cool--I want to become friends with them!"? Well, this is exactly what happened to me with Miss Bethany Canfield. I had been in a season where I was not feeling satisfied with my relationships with girls my age and was finding this growing desire for fellowship with older women in the church. I felt like God was highlighting Bethany as someone that I could possibly find that with, but I was kind of scared to approach her because I hadn't really talked with her before and in my mind (and also in reality!) her cool factor  was just way off the charts. Long story short, God led me to her and her husband's house church and our relationship began to blossom and grow. It's cool because when I was praying about getting to know Bethany more, I was asking God to give me a mentor. But what he had in mind was far greater (duh!). He gave me an older sister. Beth

So I'm sitting here, trying to study infectious diseases, and my mind keeps on drifting to marriage. Successful marriages. Failed marriages. Marriage between Jesus and his bride. Marriage between me and ______(insert hunky, loving, man of God) If anyone knows me, they know that I don't try to make it any secret that I am excited to be married to the man that God has planned for me. The idea of picking one person to do life with as long as I walk this earth is so exciting. But it's also scary. I would be lying if I said that I didn't have the (small)  fear of having a failed marriage. I mean, just looking at the statistics and the prevalence of divorce, it's hard not to be a little scared...no one goes into marriage (hopefully) expecting  to get divorced...and yet more than 50% of marriages end that way.  I wonder if it is because people have unrealistic ideas of what marriage is going to be like, or the purpose for which God intended it. I think that apart

...sounds like a memory, like a soundtrack to a July Saturday night... It's pretty incredible how even just one line from a song has the ability to transport you back to a different time and place. As I sat in the Atheneum Theatre listening to Josh Garrels sing Flood Waters, I was taken back to a warm, sunny evening last June.  Riding by bike through the streets of Corvallis. Leaving the presence of new friends to enjoy the company of old friends. The first warm breeze of the year blowing on my face as I rode, making what would have been an otherwise strenuous activity, a joyous, worshipful one.  It was the first time I had heard, really heard  the words to the song. And as a result, every time I hear those lyrics, I go back in time to that summer evening, and I smile. What are the songs that take you back to specific place or time? Flood waters rise But it won't wash away Love never dies It will hold on more fierce than graves

So, since I have so much free time (ha ha), I decided to start a mini series on the blog called "This is...". It's inspired by the new trend on instagram where someone takes a picture of a person and says "this is 'so and so' and this is what they do and this is why they are awesome..." I feel like God has blessed me with plenty of fantastic women in my life so I want to herald them for all the world to see! So without further adieu,  This is Karen Callis. I have known the Callis family for about as long as I have lived in Corvallis. We were members of the same church for several years and my brothers and I were around the same ages as her kids.  It wasn't really until my senior year of high school that I really had the opportunity to know Karen and her family in a deeper way than I could have possibly imagined. Without going into too much detail, there was a period of about 2 months that I was displaced from my home due to a family crisis