what do I even title this?
I have so many thoughts that I am trying to process right now. I wish they were pretty and coherent and articulate but they aren’t. They are jumbled and messy and sad…but they are honest. I could probably write a whole series on my feelings haha…but I just can’t bring myself to do that right now. I think there is so much in our human nature that wants to be optimistic even in the face of overwhelming reasons not to be. Is that a good thing? I don’t know. Like, I know it’s a good thing, but sometimes it just doesn’t seem worth it when you get hit with disappointment after disappointment after disappointment. Sometimes it feels like the disappointments hurt more when preceded by pure, unadulterated hope. I think that any time you go into a new relationship, there is a level of hope that is necessary to take off, right? The belief that maybe THIS could be it. This could be the last first date or whatever. I know that for me, there was never any point at which I felt certain that TH