an epiphany.

One foot in and one foot back

But it don't pay to live like that

So I cut the cords and I jumped the track

For never to return

-The Avett Brothers

This summer will be a pivotal one because I think it will officially mark the end of an old season and the beginning of a new one. Even though I have been living in Chicago for the last 7 months, I realized that I haven't really been here. I missed Oregon so intensely that it was hard for me to be fully invested here when all I really wanted to do was go back home.

I think that I needed this transitionary period to adjust to moving to a completely different place where I literally knew no one. But the winds of change are blowing and I feel like my Captain is steering me in a new direction which is both exciting and scary.

If anyone would have asked me even a month ago what my plans where after graduating from pharmacy school I would have told them that as soon as I swung my tassel from one side to the other, I would literally be on the next flight back to Oregon. However, recently the Lord has been changing my heart and my perspective. He has me here. And even though I don't understand it sometimes I have to trust that he has good plans for me here. I am not going to be fully effective for his purposes here if I am constantly dreaming of being somewhere else. So I am jumping in with both feet. When I return to Chicago this fall, I plan on being here full time at least until graduation, unless God tells me otherwise...which he might. I don't want to be in a place where I am saying "Here God, could you format my future so that it fits into my plans?"

One of my favorite quotes ever is from Phil Joel. I once heard him say 

"God doesn't want to be added to your life like a sprinkling of salt. He says 'give Me your life...tell me I can do whatever I want with it...and I'll blow your mind." 

I have seem time and time again how he has proven to only have good plans for me. Why should I assume anything different his plans for me in Chicago?

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