An open letter from another angry, black woman.

To my church folk--former, current, and future: you owe black people an apology. If you only knew how many times I sat in church, hoping you would speak out against the oppression of black people. How much it hurt when week after week, there was nothing but silence from the pulpit. Or worse, silence from my friends.  Many of you felt (and maybe continue to feel) threatened by the Black Lives Matters movement and had no trouble voicing your negative sentiments to me, a hurting member of the black community. Some of you hosted problematic, white guest speakers to come and speak to the church about “racial reconciliation”--exhorting black folks to “lay down our offenses for the sake of the gospel” without giving any mention of repentance of the centuries of church-sanctioned violence against black Americans. Many of you weaponized your white fragility by storming out of meetings where racial injustice in the church was being discussed to shift the attention from people of color onto yourself. Many of you are guilty of only listening to the handful of black friends or politicians who echo back the exact same “all lives matter” sentiments that you already have in an attempt to discredit the pain of the hurting black folks around you.  Some of you stated that “there is no way our church could possibly have a race problem because look at all the different nationalities we have present!”, thus absolving you of the requirement to do ANY work. Many of you have agreed that yes, there is a racism problem in America but have not taken any tangible steps to put an end to it other than nondescript “prayers for our nation”. Many of you have accused black people who attempt to draw any attention to racism in America of “trying to cause division”. Many of you have accused me of being “part of the problem” in an attempt to shame me into silence. 

Now that there is a national, nay, GLOBAL conversation happening about racism in America, many of you white folks have decided that now is the time to believe black people. To take our cries for justice seriously. To check on your black friends. To you I would say, thank you. Better late than never. It took you long enough. But I want to implore you to look inside yourself and ask you why it took you so long to believe black people. Lots of prominent white leaders and pastors are now saying Black Lives Matter and talking about racial injustice--why has it been easier to hear it from them than it has been to hear it from me? The person that you claim to love? Those of you who are part of the movement now but remained silent on your platforms and on your pulpits and to your friends--we see you and we remember. You need to repent. Your “I’m sorry’s”and “thinking/praying for you’s”  don’t mean a whole lot if you are not ready to take ownership of the role that you played in perpetuating the hurt that we are currently feeling. Do not apologize to me about “what’s going on” without first taking ownership and apologizing for the ways that you, personally contributed to “what’s going on” by your silence and your inaction. Do not tell me you are praying for me if you are not also praying and asking God for forgiveness for your complicity in the white supremacy of this nation. Do not say “you are with me” if you are not taking steps to read the books, watch the films, listen to black people, and EDUCATE yourselves on the history of systematic racism in America. Do not ask me for resources if you are not actively looking them up on your own. 

Make no mistake. What’s happening right now is a movement. Why it took so long, I am not sure. Perhaps all we needed was a global pandemic to disarm us of our defenses and open our eyes and soften our hearts to the realities in which we exist. Many of you like to think that if you were around during MLK’s day, you would have definitely marched “peacefully” with him in the civil rights movement. Hear me when I say--what you are doing today is what you would have done then. If you are making excuses for the way the protests are happening, that is one hundred percent what you would have done then. If you are literally keeping your mouth shut so as not to appear ~PoLiTiCaL~, your silence is being heard and felt loud and clear by many of the black people in your pews and history will not look back kindly on you. 

If I sound angry and hurt, it’s because I am. Please don’t make any attempts to correct my “tone”. Please don’t talk to me about forgiveness until you are ready to talk about repentance. If your first thought is “gosh Eva, why do you have to bring race into it?” I’ll tell you why. It’s because racism is still a problem in America and police brutality is as well. People are dying on the altar of your silence. There is a way forward to see justice roll down like a mighty river but it is not going to be from silent and passive prayers alone. It will require action. Do the work. Follow Jesus’ example, and follow the lead of the countless black men and women who you’ve been ignoring for the past several years. 

Filled with righteous anger, 

Evangeline