your presence is the air I breathe...

It's crazy how being in the presence of God changes everything.

Worship has this unreal ability to shift our perspective. We go from setting our eyes on things that are fleeting--fear, hardship, stress, anxiety--to setting them on the One who never changes. All those things suddenly seem so small and insignificant in the light of who our God is.

This has been a very trying last couple of months. While I was so blessed with the opportunity to go back home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, I have found that going home always seems to make returning here that much more difficult. This term has been INCREDIBLY difficult and I find myself questioning why I am here all the time. I know that is probably not the best thing but I think that most of it has to do with the fact that being here is keeping my from being at home with my friends and family. And also...there was a boy. And things didn't work out. And God has been gracious in allowing my heart to heal and by allowing me to be romanced by Him.

I had the wonderful opportunity to go to a worship night put on by my church here in the city and it was so incredibly refreshing. I feel like I arrived and left as two completely different people. When I came, I was feeling weighed down by stress and anxiety and uncertainty about the future, and just a bunch of stuff that I didn't need to be carrying around. But there is something that happens when you begin to declare the promises of God back to him in song and say things that are true about Him. As you begin to reflect on the words that you are singing, you realize how big and magnificent and glorious and beautiful the God you are singing to is. As I was singing How He Loves Us, I was overwhelmed by the depth of the Father's love and how no heart can hold the weight of it. When you are coming in contact with a love so big and wide and high, you can't help but spin and dance and jump and smile because you realize that the God of the universe is somehow delighted in you. That he doesn't just put up with you but that he is infatuated with you. I don't know but that very realization releases me to worship him in a deeper way.

Tonight we were singing a song about how holy God is. I was instantly reminded of how we see in the book of Revelation, the saints and the angels are continuously singing to God about how holy he is and how there is no one like him. I just love the fact that God has allowed us to know and experience what those in heaven already know and continually sing: that God is holy and there is no one like Him. And then I am just filled with excitement as I think about how the book of Revelation ends, with Jesus coming back and marrying us, his bride. And then I am reminded again about how small and insignificant the problems I encounter in this life are when compared to the future joy that I have awaiting me in heaven with my God.


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