Dear Daughter...
Happy Mothers Day all!
Not a single one would be here today if not for a mother so thank God for mothers. One of my all-time favorite blogs to read is Resolved2Worship by Alyssa Ann. I have never met her and she is most likely unaware of my existence but I am certain that she is an example to mothers and daughters ALL OVER of a woman after God's own heart. She has posted 20 things that she wants to tell her daughters when they turn 20 and as one who is at that age, I cant help but bear witness to the truth in her words.
Dear Daughter,
Today you are twenty. I'm sure by this time, we'll have gone through a whole lot together. I'm sure there will have been good times, and hard times, and really hard times, and hopefully really, really good times too.
By this time in your life, well, I'm sure I will have told you the whole story about your daddy and me. How we met, what happened, what we wish we hadn't done, and what we're glad we did. It's an amazing story that I can't say I've heard another anywhere near like it.
You've probably thought some about how I was married and already expecting your oldest brother by twenty. You might wonder here on your twentieth birthday if there is ever going to be a man who will come for you that could even possibly be as kind and good as your daddy has been to me and to you. You probably are hoping you won't have to wait long.
Or maybe he's come and you're married and you are suddenly having to grow up more than you've ever had to grow up before. In that case, let me say that it will be a good growing up no matter what happens in your relationship, good or bad. Know that your daddy and I pray for you everyday that you will be grounded and anchored in Christ and that you will cling to Him and that you will continue to draw near to Him. He alone can satisfy your every need. He alone can make your heart complete. His love is never failing. Seek Him with a willing heart.
#1. Don't get stressed out. Stress doesn't accomplish anything. Forget the drama. Focus on the Lord. Don't be a reactionary person. Ask the Lord to make you a stable person.
#2. T.V is a huge, huge waste of time.
#3. You know all that stuff that is hard in your life right now?— it will be of use.
#4. Kids are going to grow up way faster than you think, if you have them, do all you can to not waste a minute.
#5. Journal keep. Seriously, your memory can be extremely faulty and so you will be glad you did.
#6. Junk food will come back to bite you. Especially in pregnancy. Stay active and exercise even when it hurts.
#7. Self control is an awesome trait. Apply it to spending and don't be a curse to yourself or your husband by getting caught up in thinking you must have more and more. Avoid impulse spending. Realize materialism does not bring happiness. It won't, no matter how much the world likes to make you think so.
#8. Care for others. Don't be self-centered. Life isn't about you. If you think it is, that will come back to bite you way worse then junk food.
#9. Be discerning of people. Undiscerning people are fools. Don't be a fool. Remember things are typically not as they appear. But as for you, always be exactly as you appear. Be real, authentic, open, honest. Putting on for other people is living a lie. Don't live a lie.
#10. Admit when you're wrong. Just because you don't think you are wrong, doesn't mean you aren't. Identify pride in your life and flush it out.
#11. Pursue your passions. "Waiting to do something until you can be sure of doing it exactly right means waiting for ever." Go for it, girl! At the same time, Make sure your passions are worth pursuing. Ask yourself if at the end of your life, if they will be what really matters, or will they be useless.
#12. Don't be afraid of people. This might take a lifetime to overcome, but fight hard to overcome it. Don't ever do something or say something because someone else thinks you should. Know what you believe. Question. Search. Pray. Don't ever stop thinking for yourself. Don't forget that the important question is not, "What do they think of me?", but "What does God think of me?" Oh, and one more thing on this fear of man stuff - remember that those who love you will love you regardless of what you do, and they are the ones whose opinions are worth caring about.
#13. Beautiful women are often insecure. Don't be an insecure beautiful woman yourself. Be secure in the Lord. You can't "give" someone else self-esteem by praising them. The obverse of this rule is that no one can make you feel bad about yourself unless you give them permission... oh, and flattery should never make you feel good about yourself. Don't get caught up in man's praise. The world's idea of beauty is totally off. Don't take in the lies. They only lead to destruction of one's self, rejecting God's design, and comparison and jealousy.
#14. Appearances change. Don't put stock in your own. On the other hand, be a good steward of your body. Don't ever buy into being frumpy. Don't buy into being an attention hoar either. God has made you a woman. His design for you is incredible. Celebrate femininity in how you dress and walk. Following the most recent fashion in life is spiritual and intellectual suicide. "You can be a cheap imitation of the ideal of the moment; or you can be a unique individual." If folks whine that you aren’t fitting into what they think you should, you're probably on the right track. Don't live life as a herd animal (follower). God made you to be a unique individual. Celebrate that in a God honoring way. A little side note: Stand up straight and square your shoulders and look others in the eye :)
#15. Hatred is miserable. Don't hang on to past hurts. Fight hard to push past and seek the Lord to give you forgiveness in your heart. Realize your are not fighting against flesh and blood but the enemy of your soul. Let how Jesus lived here on earth be your guide in how to respond to others.
#16. Don't stay in an abusive relationship. Never stay silent. Don't ever be afraid to go for help. Don't let pride or fear keep you in a relationship that only enables the abuser. Be willing to make hard decisions that others may never understand. Don't ever idolize your image, or a good name. It's a vain pursuit in life. There is a verse that says a good name is better to have then riches. This is true. But a good name that is actually a lie and is not who you really are inside, is far worse than riches. It is actually scum.
#17. Here are few simple ways to wreck a relationship: listen to gossip, be controlling, be easily offended. "People who spread gossip are the plague-carriers of our day. Cockroaches are clean, kindly creatures in comparison." Being controlling is a sure way to have people flee from you. Being easily offended is a sure way of living life in misery and ensuring those around you feel miserable too.
#18. True love can't be obtained through persuasion, guilt, force, bribery, seduction, or trickery. When it comes to love and relationships, never make a major decision while in the grip of strong emotion.
#19. Never think you've "arrived." Avoid people who act like they have because you will get burned. Don't get discouraged when it feels like you never will "arrive." Remember that the Lord will complete the work He has started in you, in His timing and in His way.
#20. The following nineteen things I've written mean nothing and are nothing without a relationship with Jesus Christ. Pursue Him above all else. Remember that you are loved by Him with an everlasting love that does not let go. He holds you. Know that suffering is apart of life. Don't be surprised by trials. Don't turn your back on God because you think you know better than He does.
E.B. Pusey said,
"...whatever thy grief or trouble, take every drop in thy cup from the hand of God. He with whom, "the hairs of they head are all numbered," knows every throb of your brow, each hardly drawn breath, each shoot of pain... each sinking of the aching heart.
Receive, then, what are trials to you, not in the main only, but one by one, from His all-loving hands, thank His love for each; unite each with the sufferings of the Redeemer; pray that He will hallow them to you. You will not know now what He will work in you; yet, day by day, you will receive the impress of the likeness of the ever-blessed Son, and in you too, while you don't even know, God shall be glorified..."
Remember He sees the big picture. Be resolved2worship. Praise Him with a grateful heart. Walk in faith, not by sight.
Things I'd wished I'd known at twenty:
-People who gossip to you, gossip about you.
-How to recognize manipulative people and not play into the manipulation.
-How to be quick to forgive.
-Not to be quick to trust others. Be discerning.
-A perfectly clean house isn't of eternal value.
-Being the perfect wife won't ensure your husband's faithfulness. God is ultimately the keeper of your husband. Trust God.
-How to stand up and say no to in-laws. Don't be afraid, controlled, manipulated. You are not married to them.
-Just because someone says they've heard from God concerning you, doesn't mean they have.
-People hide their true self behind legalism, standards, and issues.
-Most people don't change. You can't change people. But YOU can change through the power of God.
-That what I was facing at twenty was merely a class room to teach me about how to face things in the future.
Things I wished I'd made time for at twenty:
-My younger brother and sister.
-Missions and finding ways to minister to unwed mothers or in crisis pregnancy centers.
-To communicate to my parents how amazing they were and how grateful I was for how they raised me.
-Phone calls to my best friends. Keeping up with those from my childhood.
Got anymore words of wisdom from mom?
Not a single one would be here today if not for a mother so thank God for mothers. One of my all-time favorite blogs to read is Resolved2Worship by Alyssa Ann. I have never met her and she is most likely unaware of my existence but I am certain that she is an example to mothers and daughters ALL OVER of a woman after God's own heart. She has posted 20 things that she wants to tell her daughters when they turn 20 and as one who is at that age, I cant help but bear witness to the truth in her words.
Dear Daughter,
Today you are twenty. I'm sure by this time, we'll have gone through a whole lot together. I'm sure there will have been good times, and hard times, and really hard times, and hopefully really, really good times too.
By this time in your life, well, I'm sure I will have told you the whole story about your daddy and me. How we met, what happened, what we wish we hadn't done, and what we're glad we did. It's an amazing story that I can't say I've heard another anywhere near like it.
You've probably thought some about how I was married and already expecting your oldest brother by twenty. You might wonder here on your twentieth birthday if there is ever going to be a man who will come for you that could even possibly be as kind and good as your daddy has been to me and to you. You probably are hoping you won't have to wait long.
Or maybe he's come and you're married and you are suddenly having to grow up more than you've ever had to grow up before. In that case, let me say that it will be a good growing up no matter what happens in your relationship, good or bad. Know that your daddy and I pray for you everyday that you will be grounded and anchored in Christ and that you will cling to Him and that you will continue to draw near to Him. He alone can satisfy your every need. He alone can make your heart complete. His love is never failing. Seek Him with a willing heart.
#1. Don't get stressed out. Stress doesn't accomplish anything. Forget the drama. Focus on the Lord. Don't be a reactionary person. Ask the Lord to make you a stable person.
#2. T.V is a huge, huge waste of time.
#3. You know all that stuff that is hard in your life right now?— it will be of use.
#4. Kids are going to grow up way faster than you think, if you have them, do all you can to not waste a minute.
#5. Journal keep. Seriously, your memory can be extremely faulty and so you will be glad you did.
#6. Junk food will come back to bite you. Especially in pregnancy. Stay active and exercise even when it hurts.
#7. Self control is an awesome trait. Apply it to spending and don't be a curse to yourself or your husband by getting caught up in thinking you must have more and more. Avoid impulse spending. Realize materialism does not bring happiness. It won't, no matter how much the world likes to make you think so.
#8. Care for others. Don't be self-centered. Life isn't about you. If you think it is, that will come back to bite you way worse then junk food.
#9. Be discerning of people. Undiscerning people are fools. Don't be a fool. Remember things are typically not as they appear. But as for you, always be exactly as you appear. Be real, authentic, open, honest. Putting on for other people is living a lie. Don't live a lie.
#10. Admit when you're wrong. Just because you don't think you are wrong, doesn't mean you aren't. Identify pride in your life and flush it out.
#11. Pursue your passions. "Waiting to do something until you can be sure of doing it exactly right means waiting for ever." Go for it, girl! At the same time, Make sure your passions are worth pursuing. Ask yourself if at the end of your life, if they will be what really matters, or will they be useless.
#12. Don't be afraid of people. This might take a lifetime to overcome, but fight hard to overcome it. Don't ever do something or say something because someone else thinks you should. Know what you believe. Question. Search. Pray. Don't ever stop thinking for yourself. Don't forget that the important question is not, "What do they think of me?", but "What does God think of me?" Oh, and one more thing on this fear of man stuff - remember that those who love you will love you regardless of what you do, and they are the ones whose opinions are worth caring about.
#13. Beautiful women are often insecure. Don't be an insecure beautiful woman yourself. Be secure in the Lord. You can't "give" someone else self-esteem by praising them. The obverse of this rule is that no one can make you feel bad about yourself unless you give them permission... oh, and flattery should never make you feel good about yourself. Don't get caught up in man's praise. The world's idea of beauty is totally off. Don't take in the lies. They only lead to destruction of one's self, rejecting God's design, and comparison and jealousy.
#14. Appearances change. Don't put stock in your own. On the other hand, be a good steward of your body. Don't ever buy into being frumpy. Don't buy into being an attention hoar either. God has made you a woman. His design for you is incredible. Celebrate femininity in how you dress and walk. Following the most recent fashion in life is spiritual and intellectual suicide. "You can be a cheap imitation of the ideal of the moment; or you can be a unique individual." If folks whine that you aren’t fitting into what they think you should, you're probably on the right track. Don't live life as a herd animal (follower). God made you to be a unique individual. Celebrate that in a God honoring way. A little side note: Stand up straight and square your shoulders and look others in the eye :)
#15. Hatred is miserable. Don't hang on to past hurts. Fight hard to push past and seek the Lord to give you forgiveness in your heart. Realize your are not fighting against flesh and blood but the enemy of your soul. Let how Jesus lived here on earth be your guide in how to respond to others.
#16. Don't stay in an abusive relationship. Never stay silent. Don't ever be afraid to go for help. Don't let pride or fear keep you in a relationship that only enables the abuser. Be willing to make hard decisions that others may never understand. Don't ever idolize your image, or a good name. It's a vain pursuit in life. There is a verse that says a good name is better to have then riches. This is true. But a good name that is actually a lie and is not who you really are inside, is far worse than riches. It is actually scum.
#17. Here are few simple ways to wreck a relationship: listen to gossip, be controlling, be easily offended. "People who spread gossip are the plague-carriers of our day. Cockroaches are clean, kindly creatures in comparison." Being controlling is a sure way to have people flee from you. Being easily offended is a sure way of living life in misery and ensuring those around you feel miserable too.
#18. True love can't be obtained through persuasion, guilt, force, bribery, seduction, or trickery. When it comes to love and relationships, never make a major decision while in the grip of strong emotion.
#19. Never think you've "arrived." Avoid people who act like they have because you will get burned. Don't get discouraged when it feels like you never will "arrive." Remember that the Lord will complete the work He has started in you, in His timing and in His way.
#20. The following nineteen things I've written mean nothing and are nothing without a relationship with Jesus Christ. Pursue Him above all else. Remember that you are loved by Him with an everlasting love that does not let go. He holds you. Know that suffering is apart of life. Don't be surprised by trials. Don't turn your back on God because you think you know better than He does.
E.B. Pusey said,
"...whatever thy grief or trouble, take every drop in thy cup from the hand of God. He with whom, "the hairs of they head are all numbered," knows every throb of your brow, each hardly drawn breath, each shoot of pain... each sinking of the aching heart.
Receive, then, what are trials to you, not in the main only, but one by one, from His all-loving hands, thank His love for each; unite each with the sufferings of the Redeemer; pray that He will hallow them to you. You will not know now what He will work in you; yet, day by day, you will receive the impress of the likeness of the ever-blessed Son, and in you too, while you don't even know, God shall be glorified..."
Remember He sees the big picture. Be resolved2worship. Praise Him with a grateful heart. Walk in faith, not by sight.
Things I'd wished I'd known at twenty:
-People who gossip to you, gossip about you.
-How to recognize manipulative people and not play into the manipulation.
-How to be quick to forgive.
-Not to be quick to trust others. Be discerning.
-A perfectly clean house isn't of eternal value.
-Being the perfect wife won't ensure your husband's faithfulness. God is ultimately the keeper of your husband. Trust God.
-How to stand up and say no to in-laws. Don't be afraid, controlled, manipulated. You are not married to them.
-Just because someone says they've heard from God concerning you, doesn't mean they have.
-People hide their true self behind legalism, standards, and issues.
-Most people don't change. You can't change people. But YOU can change through the power of God.
-That what I was facing at twenty was merely a class room to teach me about how to face things in the future.
Things I wished I'd made time for at twenty:
-My younger brother and sister.
-Missions and finding ways to minister to unwed mothers or in crisis pregnancy centers.
-To communicate to my parents how amazing they were and how grateful I was for how they raised me.
-Phone calls to my best friends. Keeping up with those from my childhood.
Got anymore words of wisdom from mom?
I really enjoyed reading through these! Very insightful! Thanks for sharing her post. :)
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