|| Ode to October ||


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A BRUTALLY HONEST POST ABOUT DOUBT

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Ok so this is going to be a post about DOUBT. I feel like maybe a lot of Christians struggle with doubt but because we want to appear holy and righteous before our peers we don't talk about it because we want people to think that we have our sh*t together? Just me? Anyways. I have been in such a funny season with the Lord, you guys. As I've mentioned before, 2016 was kind of a topsy turvy year for me for many reasons but the election really caused me to question a lot of things about the Church, which has subsequently led me to have more questions than ever about God. Let me give some examples. How is it that a loving God can allow so much brokenness to exist? I know, I know, we live in a world fractured by the original sin of Adam...but seriously...why are there people who are getting blown to pieces in Syria while I am sitting in my warm, comfortable bed typing on my Apple computer? Or why is it that I can ask God for a new job and then God provides me with the best job e...
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It's ok to not be ok.

I’m not alright, I’m broken inside {broken insiiiiiiiide} If you grew up listening to positive, encouraging, K-LOVE, you likely recognized those words from a Sanctus Real song (and if you don’t, worry not, you aren’t really missing anything). While sometimes I’d like to think that I’ve evolved into this authentic, cool Christian who is obviously too cool for mainstream Christian music, sometimes the Lord chooses to humble you by making you cry with a cheesy Stephen Curtis Chapman ballad circa 1999! I can’t explain it, it just happens sometimes. At any rate, this song has been speaking so deeply to my heart, because it has been a rough season for me lately. I think that a lot of times as Christians, we equate living the “good Christian life” with having everything look good on the outside for people. For me personally, I think that my life probably looks pretty awesome from the outside, and for a while, I was okay with people thinking that it was an accurate portrayal of how ...
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An open letter from another angry, black woman.

To my church folk--former, current, and future: you owe black people an apology. If you only knew how many times I sat in church, hoping you would speak out against the oppression of black people. How much it hurt when week after week, there was nothing but silence from the pulpit. Or worse, silence from my friends.  Many of you felt (and maybe continue to feel) threatened by the Black Lives Matters movement and had no trouble voicing your negative sentiments to me, a hurting member of the black community. Some of you hosted problematic, white guest speakers to come and speak to the church about “racial reconciliation”--exhorting black folks to “lay down our offenses for the sake of the gospel” without giving any mention of repentance of the centuries of church-sanctioned violence against black Americans. Many of you weaponized your white fragility by storming out of meetings where racial injustice in the church was being discussed to shift the attention from people of color onto ...
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